function changeCaptionText(whichCaptionContent,divtarget,ilayerid,layerid){
if (document.layers){
document.layers[ilayerid].document.layers[layerid].document.write(whichCaptionContent)
document.layers[ilayerid].document.layers[layerid].document.close()
}
else if (document.getElementById){
d = document.getElementById(divtarget)
d.innerHTML=whichCaptionContent
}
}
function setImage(imgName1,type) {
var imgFile1 = eval(imgName1 + type + "Img.src")
document.images[imgName1].src = imgFile1
return false
}
function DetectBrowser()
{
var version = 0;
if (navigator.userAgent.indexOf("Mozilla/3.0") != -1) version = 3;
else if (navigator.userAgent.indexOf("Mozilla/4.0") != -1) version = 3;
else if (navigator.userAgent.indexOf("Mozilla/2.0") != -1) version = 2;
else if (navigator.userAgent.indexOf("MSIE") != -1) version = 1;
else version = 0;
return version;
}
agent = navigator.userAgent
browserVer = DetectBrowser();
// preload universal images:
//if (browserVer == 3)
{
//Workplace Images declarations
var NotFunnyNormImg = new Image(105,147)
var NotFunnyOverImg = new Image(105,147)
var WowNormImg = new Image(105,147)
var WowOverImg = new Image(105,147)
var KnifeNormImg = new Image(105,147)
var KnifeOverImg = new Image(105,147)
var GrowUpNormImg = new Image(105,147)
var GrowUpOverImg = new Image(105,147)
var FlowerNormImg = new Image(105,147)
var FlowerOverImg = new Image(105,147)
var MomNormImg = new Image(105,147)
var MomOverImg = new Image(105,147)
var FiredNormImg = new Image(105,147)
var FiredOverImg = new Image(105,147)
var CongratsNormImg = new Image(105,147)
var CongratsOverImg = new Image(105,147)
var BullsNormImg = new Image(105,147)
var BullsOverImg = new Image(105,147)
var StupidQuestionsNormImg = new Image(105,147)
var StupidQuestionsOverImg = new Image(105,147)
var NewFacesNormImg = new Image(105,147)
var NewFacesOverImg = new Image(105,147)
var YourProblemNormImg = new Image(105,147)
var YourProblemOverImg = new Image(105,147)
//Workplace image sources
NotFunnyNormImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_soapbox_f.gif"
NotFunnyOverImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_soapbox_b.gif"
WowNormImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_wow_f.gif"
WowOverImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_wow_b.gif"
KnifeNormImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_knife_f.jpg"
KnifeOverImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_knife_b.jpg"
GrowUpNormImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_growup_f.jpg"
GrowUpOverImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_growup_b.gif"
FlowerNormImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_flowers_f.gif"
FlowerOverImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_flowers_b.gif"
MomNormImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_mom_f.gif"
MomOverImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_mom_b.gif"
FiredNormImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_firedude_f.gif"
FiredOverImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_firedude_b.gif"
CongratsNormImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_nosuck_f.gif"
CongratsOverImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_nosuck_congrats.gif"
BullsNormImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_bulls_f.gif"
BullsOverImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_bulls_b.gif"
StupidQuestionsNormImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_stupidquestions_f.gif"
StupidQuestionsOverImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_stupidquestions_b.gif"
NewFacesNormImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_newfaces_f.jpg"
NewFacesOverImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_newfaces_b.gif"
YourProblemNormImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_yourproblem_f.jpg"
YourProblemOverImg.src = "/images/cards/sm_yourproblem_b.gif"
}
//Arrays hold text captions for all cards. Each category has a unique array.
// Text captions for Work Place Cards
var WorkCaptionContent=new Object()
WorkCaptionContent[0]='Front:
"Have you ever noticed?"'
WorkCaptionContent[1]='Inside:
"You think you\'re so funny, and you\'re totally NOT. You make all these stupid jokes, and nobody laughs but you. Since you can\'t take a hint, I\'m telling you straight up: for everyone\'s sake... SHUT THE HELL UP!"'
WorkCaptionContent[2]='Front:
"When we first met, I thought you were a really nice person."'
WorkCaptionContent[3]='Inside:
"Wow! It just shows how wrong first impressions can be."'
WorkCaptionContent[4]='Front:
"Congratulations on your promotion"
'
WorkCaptionContent[5]='Inside:
"Before you go, why don\'t you take this knife out of my back. I\'m sure you\'ll be needing it again."
'
WorkCaptionContent[6]='Front:
(Annoying Person)
'
WorkCaptionContent[7]='Inside:
"GROW UP!"
'
WorkCaptionContent[8]='Front:
"Looks like someone\'s getting flowers."
'
WorkCaptionContent[9]='Inside:
"But not you."'
WorkCaptionContent[10]='Front:
"Mother always said, \'If you can\'t say something nice, don\'t say anything at all.\'"
'
WorkCaptionContent[11]='Inside:
(Card is glued shut.)'
WorkCaptionContent[12]='Front:
"Heard you got fired!!!"'
WorkCaptionContent[13]='Inside:
"Maybe you should have worked harder."'
WorkCaptionContent[14]='Front:
"I finally found a card that doesn\'t suck."'
WorkCaptionContent[15]='Inside:
"Congratulations"'
WorkCaptionContent[16]='Front:
"Piss of get off the pot, but whatever you do..."'
WorkCaptionContent[17]='Inside:
"Stop Bullsh**ting Me"'
WorkCaptionContent[18]='Front:
"There are no stupid questions."'
WorkCaptionContent[19]='Inside:
"Just stupid people who ask questions. Like you."'
WorkCaptionContent[20]='Front:
"As you go on to new faces and new places, remember this:"'
WorkCaptionContent[21]='Inside:
"No one at the new place is gonna like you either."'
WorkCaptionContent[22]='Front:
"Thinking of you..."'
WorkCaptionContent[23]='Inside:
"What the f**k is your problem?"'
WorkCaptionContent[24]='Front:
"I WANT YOU!"'
WorkCaptionContent[25]='Inside:
"TO QUIT CHEATING (as if I didn\'t know.) "'
WorkCaptionContent[26]='Front:
"For you!"'
WorkCaptionContent[27]='Inside:
"I want to thank you for discouraging me from ever wanting to learn more about this subject EVER again."'
WorkCaptionContent[28]='Front:
"It is hereby declared"'
WorkCaptionContent[29]='Inside:
"That you are the most boring teacher in the world."'
WorkCaptionContent[30]='Front:
(Cowboy sneering)'
WorkCaptionContent[31]='Inside:
"Y\'a**hole!"'
WorkCaptionContent[32]='Front:
"We all make mistakes in life..."'
WorkCaptionContent[33]='Inside:
"Mine was trusting you."'
WorkCaptionContent[34]='Front:
"I\'ve got your dignity."'
WorkCaptionContent[35]='Inside:
"You left it at my place when you ran out."'
WorkCaptionContent[36]='Front:
"A Gift for You"'
WorkCaptionContent[37]='Inside:
"Go buy yourself a life."'
WorkCaptionContent[38]='Front:
"Safety first today, no regrets tomorrow."'
WorkCaptionContent[39]='Inside:
"Next time, put a rubber on it. Moron."'
WorkCaptionContent[40]='Front:
"As the days go by..."'
WorkCaptionContent[41]='Inside:
"I think how lucky I am that you\'re not here to ruin them for me. Glad you\'re not around!"'
WorkCaptionContent[42]='Front:
"We\'ve been friends for a long time."'
WorkCaptionContent[43]='Inside:
"Now let\'s try not being friends for even longer."'
WorkCaptionContent[44]='Front:
"It\'s Your Birthday"'
WorkCaptionContent[45]='Inside:
"YOU SUCK!"'
WorkCaptionContent[46]='Front:
(Arrow through a heart.)'
WorkCaptionContent[47]='Inside:
"Thanks b*tch."'
WorkCaptionContent[48]='Front:
(Arrow through a heart.)'
WorkCaptionContent[49]='Inside:
"Thanks b*stard."'
WorkCaptionContent[50]='Front:
"You brought religion into my life..."'
WorkCaptionContent[51]='Inside:
"I never believed in HELL until I met you."'
WorkCaptionContent[52]='Front:
"For such a bright person"'
WorkCaptionContent[53]='Inside:
"You sure do listen to crap music."'
WorkCaptionContent[54]='Front:
"At the end of your rainbow"'
WorkCaptionContent[55]='Inside:
"May you fall into a pot of _ _ _ _."'
WorkCaptionContent[56]='Front:
"I finally found a card that doesn\'t suck."'
WorkCaptionContent[57]='Inside:
"Get well soon."'
WorkCaptionContent[58]='Front:
"I finally found a card that doesn\'t suck."'
WorkCaptionContent[59]='Inside:
"Happy Birthday"'
WorkCaptionContent[60]='Front:
"Happy Birthday!"
'
WorkCaptionContent[61]='Inside:
"...hopefully it\'s your last one. DROP DEAD!"'